While many self-help books treat fear negatively, fear often has a rightful place. Fear is usually a warning from your body or brain that you may be putting yourself in danger. Often though we let it control our activities too much. What you need is a balance between too little fear and too much fear. You could look at fear along a scale:
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What is a contingency? A contingency is an action to handle a potential future issue. For example, you plan to meet a friend at a restaurant at 7pm. Your friend is often late, so a contingency might be to call them from your cell phone at 7:15 if they haven’t arrived. You may need to take some action now to help you use that contingency. For example, you need to take your cell phone with you. Planning for contingencies involves thinking ahead for possible issues that may arise, and working out what you would do if those issues do arise. You might then do some preparation now to help reduce the effect of those issues. |
The balanced model means you accept the dual nature of fear. If you have too little fear you may take too many unnecessary risks. You may put yourself and others around you at risk of hardship, injury or worse. Too much fear can be just as devastating though. It can result in a life not lived. You are too afraid to do anything worthwhile. I believe the ideal position on the scale is somewhere near the middle. You take time to understand risks, plan contingencies (see side bar), and then do what you want to do.
The same person can be at different positions along the line for different activities. For example, someone who is careful in business may be reckless when driving. Being too aware of risk in one area of your life may lead you to be less so in other areas. Be aware of where you are along the scale for each major area of your life, and look for differences like these.
Your inner dialogue strongly influences your approach to risk and fear. Assertions are a good way to change that dialogue. These are some assertions I use for a balanced approach to fear:
· I work to understand risks before I take them.
· I make the most of the life I have, and this involves taking risks.
· I plan contingencies for the risks I take.
· I work to understand what might be unreasonable fears.
· I consider failure as a necessary part of success.
· I learn from my mistakes.