Sometimes our fear comes from not knowing what to expect. However, often our fear prevents us from finding out what we should expect. Talking to others and writing our fears down are two ways you can break out of this pattern. Let’s look at these in more detail.
Whatever the experience, it’s likely that others have been in similar circumstances before you. Reach out and talk to those around you. Talking to others and explaining your fears brings them out in the open, allowing you to then find ways to resolve them.
You may also find it helpful to write down persistent fears. Expand those fears into likely “worst case scenarios,” and then decide whether you can live with those outcomes. Also write down how you can reduce the likelihood of those scenarios.
If you feel nervous about an activity or event, find out as much as you can about it. Some examples:
· Exams and Tests. Do sample exams. Time yourself doing those samples. Ask your instructor or teacher what to expect. Ask where others usually have trouble. Ask others before you what they found difficult and what they found easy.
· Finishing your training. If you have just finished an organized learning program or course, you may now be moving from a comfortable routine into unstructured real life. Ask others how they decided what to do next. What do they do when unsure? Sometimes setting a path and making the most of it is better than staying static and claiming to be “assessing your options” or “biding your time.”
· Journeys into new areas. Sometimes your activities take you into areas you haven’t been before. While you may not be able to find someone who has faced the same situation, it’s likely others have faced similar experiences. Talk to others about how they approach new areas. For example, if it’s your first time presenting to a particular group, try to find someone who has presented to the same group, or a similar group. If you are sailing to a new harbor, you might call up a yacht club there and ask about the local area.
Here are two assertions that can help remind you to find out more when you have a fear in a particular area:
· I use the light of knowledge to reduce the fear of the unknown.
· My knowledge controls my fear.